Way down we go...

Druhá povídka v angličtině. Omlouvám se, že nepřidávám častěji, ale jednoduše není čas a teď jsem navíc ještě nachcípaná...


Way down we go...
 

"You were too dangerous... Too special..."

Yeah, she was so fucking dangerous that the team she was part of, dropped her to the CIA. They did her so many fucking things she can't even remember them anymore. It was purely instinct that get her out of there - alive. And it was all over and over again - earn the trust of people she didn't even trust anymore, do some shitty work because she was the only one perfect to this job, ignore the tension in room or those... judgemental looks. So sick of this. So tired of this.

Her only connection to the old life was Roman. It wasn't always perfect but it was something - this feeling she's alive, loved and not completely alone. There were those looks like he was searching for something. Maybe her old-self. When she was still his tough, adamant sister who stops at nothing and always protects her brother. What a shame... Jane or Taylor or Alicia or Remi - or whatever name they can come up with - didn't exist anymore. She wasn't that person and all of them were hoping for impossible things.

How can even a person be the same after their memory was erased? True - flashbacks came to her sometimes, mostly when she was spending her time with Roman but...

"I am sorry you lost your sister but if I could go back I would do it all so differently..." That was the true. She loved him - first feeling after all those long, cold, sleepless nights. Apparently that wasn't a thing Roman wanted to hear but she was honest with him. And sometimes the looks he gave to her were so happy - that she is alive, that he has her back again, that she said something her old-self would tell. From every touch, every look or even a tone in his voice was visible how deep were his feelings for her.

It was one night she has learned her love for Roman has no limits. She was staying at Shepherd's place and he simply walked into her room, both hands bandaged and lower lip slightly torn.

"What happened to you?"

"They didn't want me to get to you. So I fought my way out but Shepherd appeared."

She carefully took his hand into hers. "You can't do that."

"Because I could compromise you cover? Yeah, I know. Sorry."

"No, because I don't want to lose you." He almost looked at her like he didn't believe her. That hurt. "You can't put yourself in danger. You are all I have left. I know you want your sister back, your precious Remi - but I don't. If she was able to sacrifice her own brother for success of a mission then I hope she never comes back."

He just took a deep breath and looked at her. And that was it. Another of his frowns. "Remi would want to do her job. We are at war that's bigger and more important that our lives." Why this again? Why did it sound like anybody in this building hasn't a respect to human life?

"Ian, I won't lose you." A vision of him - dead or deadly injured made her heart hurt. Jane remembered first time they met what did he say to her with this expression on his face.

"Some things you just cannot control." He was looking at their joined hands. Jane couldn't see into his mind but his twitching fingers gave her more or less the answer. Roman... Roman was like her more violent and impatient side. Even if she didn't remember much, she definitely trusted her instinct - he is yours. He had always been yours and you're his. You will never truly belong to another man.

Jane didn't even reply, just get closer to him and when he turned his head to her, she carefully kissed his lips. Just like touch of a feather. "You have to be careful. You are the only thing that makes sense to me right now in the whole world. I can't lose you or else I'll die."

He smiled so beautifully like that time she opened the puzzle box. "I missed you so much. And I miss you every fucking second you're not with me - with us - here."

"Yeah, everytime I am with the team I am truly scared we'll run into you... "

He only whispered Don't be, I can take care of myself before he kissed her deeply. Her hands slowly moved behind his neck as she shifted herself in Roman's lap.

"I love you."

In your violence, I have found tenderness...

In your devotion, I have found love...

In your confidence, I have found my world...

Jane knew it will get ugly at some point, but right now - this moment with her brother was all that mattered. His arms around her as he pulled Jane closer to him - as if she could soak into him so they would be together as one forever.

"I know. I love you too. I will love you no matter what."